When I was 10 I had my first episode of sleep paralysis, I had it maybe once a year after that until I turned 19 and then it plagued my life. For about 7 months, I had sleep paralysis twice a week sometimes (when it was at its worst), but at least 3 times a month.
I was going through a rough period in my life, and my sleep disorders have always messed with me and the internet taught me how to try and awaken from paralysis when I recognized what was happening- I didn’t tell my psych for fear of yet another medication change and decided to deal with it on my own.
I’ve never had a visual hallucinatory experience during sleep paralysis, it was usually just me calling out for my mom, then waking up and realizing that I never actually called out her name, that I was just hallucinating my own actions.
Anyway, in order for me to sleep I usually have to take about 20mg of Stilnox and have something playing the background (I get anxious when I’m exposed to white noise). My favorite bedtime video at the time was JonTron’s Plug and Play vid.
I’m drifting off to sleep, I wake up a few minutes later and I can hear Jon’s voice, it’s at the end of the video and my laptop is in front of me, I’m totally awake, I reach to pause the video and as I’m about to hit pause I see a black figure standing inches away from me (almost behind me) on my right side. As I realize what’s happening, it grabs my shirt and pulls me towards it, it’s not painful but it feels like it’s grabbing onto my energy as well as my shirt. I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it’s kind of like I felt intense pressure and gravity centered around it’s hand and the area it was touching me.
I immediately though “shit, what have I learned from every horror movie I’ve ever watched about how to deal with this crap”. And essentially there was only one solution that seemed to correlate throughout every movie: Tell it to fuck right off.
I grabbed its arm or whatever and tried to pull it off of me and fling it away and I screamed “Leave me alone! You’re disgusting!”
And just like that, it just disappeared. This exchanged happened in a matter of seconds but the weirdest thing about it, is that I wasn’t scared. I just remember feeling really annoyed and really pissed off that this thing even touched me.
Everyone I’ve ever told this story to has told me it was sleep paralysis. But it definitely was not, and I know it.
Hope this wasn’t too boring! I’ll share the other two stories at some point when I’ve got the courage to :)
Goodnight!
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